Tool box jokes

A general is being driven in a jeep through the desert on the way to a training exercise. Out in the middle of nowhere, the jeep breaks down. The female jeep driver jumps out, opens the hood and starts working on the engine. The general, wanting to be helpful, finds a toolbox in the back and opens it.

A single woman on her period decides that she does not longer want to sit around at home Maybe she will meet that special someone tonight? She decides to go to the local bar. As she sits at the bar by herself a very drunk gentleman approaches and starts to flirt with her.

It is clear the man wants to have sex with her. A man got a flat tire A man got a flat tire. After pushing the car back home, he inspected the tire and found it severely damaged. Not wanting to throw it away, he tried to patch the holes, but there were too many of them. So he called his friend, a mechanic, to see if he could fix it. Measurements A man and his wife were outside their house doing yardwork.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes. Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before. What makes a Yugo go faster? A tow truck. Why do Yugos have a rear window defroster?

So you can keep your hands warm while you're pushing it. A man goes into an auto parts store and asks, Can you give me a cigarette lighter for my Yugo? Sure, sounds like a fair trade to me. What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire? A write-off. Saved by PopScreen. More information.. I ran across this site with some pretty funny math jokes.

I don't get them all, but the ones I understand are enjoyable, especially after being at work after a three day weekend. I think we've all seen a geekier is that possible? Bill said to Jim and Scott, Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting.

I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. Simple as that. My latest book is 44 thousand words plus a bit in length and yes, it's a better book because of The Comic Toolbox Tool Box Talk Horseplay in the Workplace on the lookout for the next joke. Horseplay is a safety hazard that can quickly get out of hand and lead to injury or death. If someone else gets hurt as a result of your horseplay or joke , you may be liable for damages and you'll risk losing your job.

Even if a practical joke isn't dangerous in. Get it as soon as Tue, Mar 2. There are 10 types of people in the world those who understand binary, and those who dont. How many programmers does it take. More jokes! These funny knock-knock jokes will keep everyone guessing.

Bring these classic dad jokes back to life with our funny knock-knock jokes for kids and corny knock-knock jokes that'll. Hopefully, this article inspires you to keep your regular safety talks upbeat, funny, and engaging.

By taking safety training seriously, you'll keep your staff safer, more engaged, and improve the safety culture at your workplace.. Be sure to keep your training relevant by using short safety moments, video content, games, and day-to-day real-world examples Tool Box Talk Horseplay in the Workplace on the lookout for the next joke.

If someone else gets hurt as a result of your horseplay or joke, you may be liable for damages and you'll risk losing your job. Don't watch her behind. Keep safety in mind! Safety's OK if you got all day. Our aim is to keep the toilets clean - your aim will help!

Safety's alright if you got all night. Safety slogans are nifty - Give me my fifty. When safety is a factor, call in a contractor. Work Safely and Carry a Big Lunch Box Free safety topics, toolbox talks, safety meetings, tailgate topics and safety resources including presentations, photographs and documents.

An exchange for safety professionals on solving their safety issues. A bus breaks down and the driver pops the hood to investigate A blonde passenger who is a certified mechanic comes out with her toolbox, eager to help and show off her training and also give blondes a good reputation for a change.

A hammer is introduced to the members of a new toolbox, The Hammer sees his old friend and the Wrench giving the tour says: You know the drill but do you know the screwdriver? You wanna know why the call me the toolbox? Because I screw, then I nut, and then I bolt. Can I crash in your place tonight? What monsters are all the tools in the toolbox afraid of? What sound does a frog make that lives in a toolbox? This one is great if a crew is working in an area with high foot traffic. Using an epoxy, fix a coin on the ground and watch, as passers-by try to pick it up.

For more laughs, this can be done with a paper note. Sending a new worker to get stuff from the suppliers is common; newer workers usually get the worst jobs. The person going to get the supplies will ask the shop sales person for these items, which will inevitably cause the person to laugh or groan.

Eventually, the new worker will figure out there is no such product. This works particularly well if you give them a list for the following: skirting board ladders, spirit level bubbles or tartan paint.

Old ones are the best right? This prank is best done while the porta loo is in use. Blocking the vent with a rock will make it nearly unbearable to be inside. The person inside will wonder why the odours just got so much more pungent inside. This will likely result in the person trying to finish and get out of the unit as quickly as possible.

A less experienced crew member may not understand what happened or why the odours suddenly became stronger. More fool them! This prank is good for work crew members who may live together or may be temporarily housed together.

This is a great prank to play on a younger crew member. Create a circle with paint dots.